Following my last counseling session on Wednesday evening of last week, I was yet again left in a positive mood, despite it being quite a stressful time at work for me at the moment. Negotiations for a renewal of my employment contract (which expires mid-January) are ongoing and getting quite tricky. A much milder adjective than the one I have in my head, due to the remote possibility that my boss might read this, having linked to the company in an earlier post.
The following day I was feeling brave enough to tell my sister of the major changes I’m undergoing and the extent of my gender identity, so I drafted an email, which while underplaying the magnitude of what’s going on, shared a link to part one of this blog thread so that she could read about everything I’m thinking and going through at leisure. Reading it through I felt confident and happy to send it to her then and there, but thought it best to sleep on it for a night or two. The next day when I revisited it, I still felt I wanted to send it and without editing anything I’d written, but I was a tiny bit hesitant because she would be the first family member to know everything, so I left it another night. The next day, I was actively looking forward to letting my sister know, so I hit send and felt an instant relief….. followed by a mini panic until I got her reply!
Checking my blog stats I was excited to see a number of views appearing from the Philippines where she lives, and imagined these to be her, getting to know me better in cyberspace. After what felt like days, but was only 24 hours, I saw her reply to my email and opened it with a glass of red wine in hand, a little nervous, but very excited to read her reaction.
By the end of the email I was genuinely bawling like a baby, in part out of relief at having finally told her, but mostly from her overwhelming support. It was exactly as I’d expected from her; total acceptance, support and a reassurance of unconditional love, and it really moved me. While I won’t recount her whole email here, I’ll share her parting words, which were,
“…I’ll look at my little sister with pride, acceptance and unconditional love. Always.
You go girl….”
I’m so lucky to have such an accepting and loving family and it’s not something I take for granted. I’m truly blessed to have a family who would do anything for me and vice versa. I can’t believe that my sister and I haven’t seen each other for a year, and I’m really looking forward to her arriving to spend a family Christmas together with Mum and Dad. Who knows, now I have her support, I may even be brave enough to talk to my parents about everything, although I’m a lot more anxious about the thought of telling them than I was my sister. Regardless, the ball continues to roll forever onwards, so without putting pressure on myself, let’s see what happens. They arrive next week!